Mom and dad are goin' out for the evening
And you're stuck inside the house all alone
That's when you decide
it might be fun to harrassomeone
Dial a random number up on your telephone
You ask if their refrigerator is running
Then you tell 'em
they should go out and catch it
Buddy, if they ever figured out
where you were callin' 'em from
They'd come and bust your head
right in with a ratchet
Listen to me
Don't go makin' phony calls
Please stick to the seven-digit
numbers you're used to
I know that you think it's funny
drivin' folks right up the wall
But it's really gettin' old fast
Little Melvin has a natural obsession
Askin' for Prince Albert in a can
He gets a kick each time
he makes a collect call
To some guy he doesn't know
who lives in Japan
He's callin' strangers up
at three in the morning
Gives 'em pizza pie delivery at four
He won't be laughin'
when they're tracin' his line
One day the phone
police will be there at his door
Yo, hear me
Don't go makin' phony calls
Only dial the seven-digit
numbers you're used to
Swear someday I'm gonna yank
that phone cord right out from the wall
How long is this phase gonna last?
Come on
Moe's Tavern, where the elite meet to drink.
Uh, yeah, hello, is Mike there?
Last name Rotch.
Hold on, I'll check Mike Rotch? Mike Rotch?
Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
Listen to me, you little puke!
One of these days I'm gonna catch you,
and I'm gonna carve my name
on your back with an ice pick!
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Don't go makin' phony calls
Please stick to the seven-digit
numbers you're used to
You went through the New York City
phone book and prank-called 'em all
Hope that you grow out of this fast
Don't go makin' phony calls
Only dial the seven-digit
numbers you're used to