There was a peaceful town called Rockridge
Where people lived in harmony
They never had no kind of trouble
There was no hint of misery
The town saloon was always lively
But never nasty or obscene
Behind the bar stood Anal Johnson
He always kept things nice and clean
Then all at once the trouble started
A pack of murderers and thieves
Like swarms of locusts they descended
Their aim to make the townfolk flee
Have you ever seen such cruelty
Now it is time of great decision
Are we to stay or up and quit
There's no avoiding this conclusion
Our town is turning into shit