My Legs
(Holmes)
Prince Charles: And now, the British premier of
'My Legs' by Ken and Ron Sex Bachelor.
Narrator: Mice. The hall was dark and rubbery,
Fezzit is waiting for a likely young chicken to drop in a lake.
But Bernie doesn't believe this and quickly woofs.
Meanwhile, Shelat and Target are destined by a huge cat.
Bernie: Crikey, you lot, am I all?
Derek Guyler: The gun is above me head
Narrator: Then Berny rushes naked into the pre-heated oven.
Target: There's a false lady outside selling pyjamas. What
shall I tell her?
Olive out of On The Buses: Please will you coat my legs?
Target: Lock me up, baby.
Johnny McDozenlegs: Ask if she's tepid, do.
Bernie: Yes, do.
Richard Wattis: Yes, do.
Dr Wizzy: Yes, do.
Sid James: Yes, do.
Monica Rose: Yes, do.
Esma Cannon: Yes, do.
Joyce Grenfell: Yes, do! Yes,yes, do!
Peggy Mount: Am I shiny enough yet?
Shelat: Is there a long pipe in the house?
Narrator: For a while, all was silent. Until...
Anne Aston: Oh, look! I whopped my big kidneys out for all to see.
All: Ooooh...
Bernie(the bolt): Do not say "Oooh."
All: No, we shall not say "Oooh."
Bernie: No! Never say "Oooh!"
Dr Wizzy: If only Lieutenant Uhuhu was here. She wouldn't
say "Oooh."
Charles Hawtrey: Love. Love my dire native.
Karen Carpenter: Carry me to Zimbabwe, me lovely fishes.
Susan Dropweewee: Soon me cannelloni is 'tween me legs.
All (singing): "Cause we couldn't