I saw a little kid As he walked around
He picked a candy bar up Off the ground
He chowed about a half
Then his face turned blue
Turned out that candy bar was doggy-doo
Don't pick it up I say
Unless you can throw it away
Don't pick it up I say
You're gonna be bummed that you went that way
You're out there makin' bacon No scrutiny
You mess around too much And you got VD
You know you never think And you're sore today
You're gonna take it back to California
Don't pick it up I say
Unless you can throw it away
Don't pick it up I say
You're gonna be bummed that you went that way
My friend was kinda hurtin' For a girl to try
He saw one that looked like Pat On Saturday Night Live
It had a pair of thingies But a mustache too
Not clearly male nor female So now what to do
Don't pick it up I say
Unless you can throw it away
Don't pick it up I say
You're gonna be bummed that you went that way