A fine romance my good fellow
You take romance I'll take Jello
You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean
At least they flap their fins to express emotion
A fine romance with no quarrels
With no insults and all morals
I've never mussed a crease in your blue serge pants
I never get the chance this is a fine romance
A fine romance with no kisses
A fine romance my friend this is
To love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has
We don't have half the thrills that the march of time has
A fine romance with no clinches
A fine romances with no pinches
You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France
I haven't got a chance My hearts not made of plastic
You're the reason I'm sarcastic
'Cause this is a fine a fine romance